Here is the desi parents madlib for forcing encouraging their kids to get married:
"Hai [deity]!! You are already [perfectly fine age] and you're not getting any younger. Your [hair is thinning/you may have gray hair/you have already been in a failed relationship/other perceived life failure or visual cue of age] and it will only get harder to find a good match the longer you wait.
Why dont you look at [friend 1] and [friend 2]. They both decided to get married, settle down [insert optional children] and look at how happy they look. Every time we see [friend]'s parents at [preferred house of worship] or at [mutual family friend]'s house, they constantly look so satisfied and happy that they don't have to worry about their kids anymore. When will we ever get good news like that? Will we ever be able to tell [gloating auntie] about our kids?
Don't you know about [friend 3] - [he/she] took so long to get married that they were (choose 1):
Bet[a/i], just think about what we're saying because we are (choose 2):
"Hai [deity]!! You are already [perfectly fine age] and you're not getting any younger. Your [hair is thinning/you may have gray hair/you have already been in a failed relationship/other perceived life failure or visual cue of age] and it will only get harder to find a good match the longer you wait.
Why dont you look at [friend 1] and [friend 2]. They both decided to get married, settle down [insert optional children] and look at how happy they look. Every time we see [friend]'s parents at [preferred house of worship] or at [mutual family friend]'s house, they constantly look so satisfied and happy that they don't have to worry about their kids anymore. When will we ever get good news like that? Will we ever be able to tell [gloating auntie] about our kids?
Don't you know about [friend 3] - [he/she] took so long to get married that they were (choose 1):
- Unable to get married because they looked so old and haggard that nobody could dare think of wedding and bedding them
OR - Forced to get into a marriage with someone that they didn't know enough about and then began leading a loveless married life that ended in [super tragic thing that people outside the family shouldn't know about].
Bet[a/i], just think about what we're saying because we are (choose 2):
- Older than you
- Know better
- Understand how other families think
- Care about you
- Want to see you happy
Desperate to get your stank ass out the house so we can finally get that sex swing
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